As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
