Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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