i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
