I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
