SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
