dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
