do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
