I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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