Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Someone came in the potted fern
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
