After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
soo... how was my night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
