So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
