dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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