Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drake has all the answers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
