If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
