They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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