dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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