ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
