remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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