i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
