Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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