Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
