i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
