I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
