So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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