problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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