At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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