His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
