There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
