i just wanna soil my oats bro
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
