We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
