Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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