maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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