I wish I could punch you in the face.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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