dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
