Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
