Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
