I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
