i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
