i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
