you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
