Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
