like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That was before I lit my hair on fire
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
