Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
