You just made me feel so damn special
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
