If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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