i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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