Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
