so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
