Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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