Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
