i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
