3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
