If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
