Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
